Restless Saturdays.

Saturday night, and I'm alone in my room, restless. There's so much I wanna do, but it still feels like I'm being dragged down by something. Something I gotta do, something I should do, something I think I know I must do. Always something to do. 

Torn between watching Home Alone 2 with Jon and watching Band of Brothers on my own. I need some me time. When my time is mine alone, not set aside for school work, for meals, for exercise, for events, for people. I have no more me time. Yea that's what it is. Everyday I have to give my time to something. And that's probably why I feel so restless when I finally have some time to myself. The inability to relax totally. To enjoy myself. To feel that I'm in full control. Sigh. 

I always look forward to Saturdays. A full day set aside, for absolutely nothing. Yet.... so far, I barely remember most of my Saturdays. They're always over in a blink of an eye. Just like that and its Sunday already, time to get the engines going again. 

And I just need to say this. I hate waking up on a Saturday morning to the sound of an alarm clock. Especially if I can't sleep in late. The only day of the week where I can get my rest. Its so disadvantageous to be such a light sleeper. I take so long to sleep, and hardly get my rest every schooling night. Insomnia insomnia insomnia. 

Its 8, I've done the laundry, replied all my emails and dinner's in the living room. Time to make a change. This will separate me from all the rest. I can change easily. Time for some me time now.