Girls ah, can bring so much happiness, and so much pain. Watched this Chinese drama serial in ZhuHai, near the border with Macau. The guy said, when a girl wants you to be happy, you'll be happy, and when she wants you to be sad, you'll feel endless sorrow.
Eeshin was my first. Young, foolish and innocent, everything felt magical. Her sweet voice, adorable face and heart-shaped smile, together with her feminine, girlish personality was simply irresistible. Little pecks on her cheeks brought so much joy into my day. Subtly, she controlled how far we went. Always careful to turn her face away when I kissed too near her lips. My first french kiss was on her balcony. The night was young, and we just finished the dinner she cooked for me. Spaghetti, one of the best I remember tasting. She had just bathed, smelt wonderful. Little bit of cuddling at the balcony, so much happiness between the both of us. Crazily in love would be the perfect phrase to sum things up. We kissed and she slipped me some tongue. The night seemed to stretch on forever.
Geraldine was my second. I was bitter, vengeful, spiteful and selfish. So sorry she had to bear the brunt of my angst. I used her and played with her. Did to her exactly what Eeshin did to me. I felt I could play with girls as and when I wanted. Horrible can barely describe my thinking and reasoning then. We started off a torrid relationship. It didn't really end because it never really started.
Jasmin, not yet. I respect this girl, yet something inside me keeps telling me to remain cautious. More mature, level-headed and less selfish, I try not to let my possessive and jealous personality mar things. This girl is everything I didn't expect, but somehow she's perfect. Her emotions come in strong waves. I can tell if she's upset or really happy just by looking and talking to her. This girl doesn't plan far ahead, she doesn't want to, doesn't need to. Happy go-lucky, I admire this aspect of her character. Complements my controlling, order seeking personality. Jasmin can be so sweet at times, and in need of constant assurance. Insecurity seems to be a major flaw in her character. But this shouldn't be a problem... that sorts of complements my possessive personality. There are 2 sides to the same coin. The loud, attention-seeking, funny and adorable girl I've come to love, and the wild and crazy girl I see in clubs. I have accepted and love both sides of her, but the question is, should I? Experience tells me otherwise. Only time can tell. Jasmin, this girl could be everything I'd ever want.
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