Her Mood Swings.

Her mood swings are starting to annoy me. These few days, she can't make committed decisions, can't plan for the next few days, and basically does things on impulse, influenced by emotion and mood. Which is sort of the reason why we have nothing planned for the rest of the week. I've given up asking her to go out with me, because it seems to be it doesn't really matter that much to her. I can sense something's wrong when she can't remember appointments but pretends to, and constantly changes her mind on confirmed dates. Something's amiss. 

And she now has this "you don't seem to want me as much as your ex" thing going on. Oh yea, she doesn't say it, but I'm not stupid. I'm tired of you comparing your treatment with hers. I've left her behind so long ago, why are you still carrying her around? The only reason you fell inferior is because you're constantly comparing yourself with her, when I'm treating you as a totally different person. You'll never be contented. Put her away and lets make our own way together.

Besides, I'm putting more into this that I ever did. She doesn't realise it, and that's why she's sulking. Its the subtle things, the more meaningful overtures, the introductions, the invitations she's failing to catch. She tends to want the material stuff, the taxi fares, the long trips, the hardcore "I'll do anything for you." stuff. Missing the point, and coming out wanting. I think I play this game better than you do.

Can't be all bad can it? Nah, she's been fantastic sometimes on her part. I can see she wants this to work, and her heart is in this. She just needs to feel a sense of security every now and then. Needs to feel loved and looked after and wanted. She has put a lot into this relationship, and I deeply appreciate that. Coming here all the way from home in the hot afternoon sun, and offering to buy food was heart warming. It was my fault for not planning my meals properly. So yea, I can see her efforts, and that's where my sense of security comes from. Love her personality too, the "I'm a fat little girl let me eat everything and don't call me stupid" image she tries so hard to shake off. Hahaha its never going to go away. Because if it does Jasmin wouldn't be Jasmin anymore. 

I love you dear.